I am both idealist and realist. For there is no point in ideals if they cannot be realised.
Jacob (Jake) Barrie Gordon

Jake Gordon

Go Go Bars

5 April 2001

Met up with two girls who I met on the Perhentian Islands (Abbie and Chrissy) yesterday when I arrived in Bangkok, and then two other English blokes my age - Simon and Jonny. We decided it would be quite an experience to see what Bangkok is famous for (apart from the chick boys) - the go-go sex bars!

At around 8 last night the five of us squashed into a tuk-tuk and asked him to take us to PatPong (the red-light district here). Well, he kept asking us what we were going for so we said ‘sex stuff’ and then he tried to get commission by taking us to a sex show. We had none of that, and just got him to drop us off down the main road, outside some lovely establishment called Super Pussy. Well, after half an hour of walking around and not knowingly seeing any lady boys we sat down and had a couple of beers and some food before going into the raunchy joints.

We were expecting to be horrified by hard-core action in the sex shows, with girls who were far too young and rampant sex on stage. We thought we’d go in and just leave almost immediately because it would just be too demeaning. Instead, we went into one of the places advertising ‘pussy ping-pong’ and ‘pussy banana’ and went up to the place with the poles and the perverts and the naked ladies. Well, it was pretty pants (without the panties) - we saw some big old naked Thai woman walking clumsily around on the stage and that was about it. Wasn’t quite what we were expecting, so we left straight away to find something a bit more ‘entertaining’.

Three sex shows later and we figured they were all exactly the same - we saw some amazingly talented women peashoot balloons out of their naughty bits and play a bit of ping pong and fire off bangers between their legs but it wasn’t what we were expecting! The most amusing thing was just seeing the big white fat pervy old men with the Thai girls all over them, obviously because of their raunchy attractiveness, I’m sure they weren’t paying for sex.


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by Jake Gordon, some rights reserved