Jake Gordon

Mr Bump

1 April 2003

Amy’s card to me for my 21st said “Mr Bump” and it couldn’t be more true recently! Not only do I have a broken left wrist which is currently in plaster (hopefully it’ll come off next Monday) but I’ve also had the following in the last six months: the flu (twice), tonsilitis, haemorrhoids and a gradually deteriorating eyesight (going to see a specialist tomorrow).

Then today, on my fun packed April Fools Day (I played a few amusing jokes on gullible fools today!) trip to the dentist I found out that my current five filling are to be accompanied by another four to six more. Whoppeee me! I had one of them done today, and more some time in May. So no more sugar for me. Oh, and its only another ?255 on top of the ?200 I’ve already spent in the last year on my teeth.

So, here comes my new be-good-to-your-teeth diet. No more snacking… argh! Its going to be impossible. I snack like I’m about to go into hibernation most the time. No more chocolate. No more fizzy drinks. No more alcohol… although of course I’ll use the word ‘no’ loosely.

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by Jake Gordon, some rights reserved